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Getting Daddy to be a Good Person – A Daughter’s Loving Reminder

“Yes, daddy is not considered a good man, but he is willing to change,”says Shen You Cheng. His daughter, En Qi, is his“little teacher.” She not only urges him to learn sign language, but also uses the Jing Si Aphorisms to remind him to drop his bad habits. The family of three encourage one another and together, they have signed up for the “Dharma as Water”stage adaptation, and in so doing, their family life has become more interesting!


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12 year old En Qi is her father’s little teacher. Father and daughter share good chemistry, and often practice their sign language together, matching every word with the corresponding action. (Photo by Wong Twee Hee)

A cosy little family of three taking part in the“Dharma as Water”stage adaptation together and learning sign language together; just thinking about it makes one envious! The credit goes to 12-year-old Shen En Qi. In last year’s presentation of the stage adaptation, Shen En Qi was her mother’s (Lin Shu Bing) “fellow classmate,” and this year, she is her father’s “little sign language teacher!”

Previously, when mother and daugter were rehearsing for the performance, Shen lent his support from behind the scenes as their chauffeur. This year, Shen has started taking part in the “Dharma as Water”study sessions, and also watches Da Ai programmes; slowly, he has begun to understand the teachings of the sutra adaptation, and he now fully supports the philosophy that drives Tzu Chi’s efforts. Once, while watching a Da Ai TV programme, his interest was aroused and he wanted to sign up for the sign language team, yet he was afraid that he would not be good at it. Fortunately, under the repeated invitations from his wife and daughter, he finally gathered up enough courage to participate.

Daddy’s Little Teacher 

Shen insisted on taking part in activities of a higher level of difficulty, and stated his wish to have his daughter teach him sign language. During the early days of “sign language tuition”, En Qi and her friends were engaged in a lot of activities and she was often unable to coach her father. Shen “complained”, saying “During a community practice session, I was by her side learning with her, but once her friend approached, she cast me aside.” Not knowing anyone else, and being unfamiliar with sign language, a helpless Shen would sit by a corner. “It was so embarassing at that point in time!”

En Qi may be young, but after attending the study sessions, she is now aware that she has to consider her father’s feelings. Now, she coaches her father. Both father and daughter practice their sign language with each other at home and have more things to talk about.

Shen remains undaunted by the requirement of coordinating the lyrics with sign language and then singing the verses out loud. For the sake of improving himself, he records his daughter’s sign language presentation using his smartphone, then enlarges the screen and learns by watching the video. “The video is very clear and allows me to watch up close, making it even easier for me to learn.”

Shen often tells others about his daughter’s concern and diligence. Earning a living as a taxi driver, Shen wastes no time in between waiting for passengers. He plays the video recorded by his daughter and practises his sign language as he listens to the lyrics.

Serving the Community Quietly 

Once, Shen En Qi showed her father a Jing Si Aphorism which goes : “If one has bad temper and bad speech, even with a good heart, one cannot be considered a good person.”

“Yes, yes, Daddy is not considered a good person, but I am willing to change”Shen replied with humour. Suffering from a case of serious tinnitus and poor quality of sleep, Shen has a volatile and impatient temper. He often argues with his wife and gets angry frequently. After signing up for the stage adaptation and participating in the study sessions, coupled with his daughter frequently cautioning him against bad speech, Shen gradually learnt to be more tolerant and understanding of others and also smiles more often.

In August, upon consolidation of the stage adaptation team, the team commenced rehearsals in an area situated in the North, with a makeshift stage. The rehearsal area has poor ventilation and there are many fans placed on the floor. Shen, being an observant person, often walks around during the practice breaks, looking everywhere and shifting the fans to the more crowded spots, such that everyone can practise in a more comfortable environment.

Shen has observed that some places are windier while other places do not get as much ventilation; when some volunteers sit down, the wind blows onto their faces making them very uncomfortable. On his own initative, he uses strings to tie fans to the windows, hoping to direct some wind into the indoor area. Sim Hee Chew, the provider of the rehearsal venue, also enlisted the help of his workers to hang the fans up upon the pillars, and Shen helped to confirm the position of the fans in order to improve the indoor ventilation.

Whatever needs improvement does not escape Shen’s eyes. After a rehearsal on 5 October 2013, he changed the water supply of the two big air coolers which had just undergone maintenance works. With these two coolers, the indoor environment has become cooler. In the morning, he is busy with refilling water, in the afternoon, he is still doing the same as everyone takes their meals. “Due to a long period non-usage, the water that is circulating within the coolers is dirty,”explained Shen. He willingly serves the needs of others and takes his job very seriously, never complaining even if he has to make more than ten back and forth trips.

Promoting Vegetarianism and Non-Wastage 

En Qi will sit for the Primary Six Leaving Examinations this year, so she faces a heavy workload and is under much pressure, but despite the frequent rehearsals, she claims that sign language practice is the best method of de-stressing herself.

In the past, whenever En Qi did something wrong and her parents corrected her, she would get angry and even come back with a sharp rejoinder. Her mother now says that ever since her participation in the adaptation, her temper has improved and she is less stubborn. This year, her daughter has changed even more - she is now able to control her temper and maintain a gentle tone and countenance.

En Qi even invites her classmates and friends to go vegetarian. Although some classmates are unwilling, and some have rejected the idea, saying that going vegetarian is unhealthy, En Qi will patiently speak of the benefits of vegetarianism and share videos on the subject in the hope of appealing to their inner goodness. Finally, she managed to gain the support of a classmate.

As there is no vegetarian stall in the school canteen, Enqi chooses to consume only the vegetables that have been cooked alongside the meat dishes in order to avoid establishing negative karma with other beings. She even encourages her classmates to finish their food and avoid wastage so as to avoid the karma of a negative rebirth.

Under their daughter’s influence, whenever the family have their meals outside, they would choose to consume vegetarian food. Participating in the adaptation has brought the family closer together. They lovingly remind each other to beware of each other’s bad habits. Between husband and wife, and between parent and child, the relationship has become more harmonious.

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Shen En Qi, a precocious child, is the motivating factor behind her family’s participation in the “Dharma as Water” sutra adaptation. (Photo by Wong Twee Hee)

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Shen You Cheng has become a different person after participating in the stage adaptation. Now he takes the initiative to interact with others and smiles more. (Photo by Wong Twee Hee)

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Shen often uses break time in-between the practice sessions to walk around and observe the surroundings. Here, he is seen shifting the fans around, allowing volunteers to practise under more comfortable conditions. (Photo by Wong Twee Hee)

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Shen uses his smartphone to record a video of his daughter presenting the sign language, making it convenient for himself to learn and rehearse anytime. (Photo by Wong Twee Hee)


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