Xie takes the opportunity to participate in the 2013 “Dharma as Water” stage adaptation very seriously, with the aim of internalizing the Dharma teachings and growing in wisdom. (Photo by Tan Cheng Hwa)
If the measure of family bliss can be attributed to having a capable husband who takes care of the family, and children who are well-behaved, then Xie Li Ping can be said to have everything that a woman could wish for. If so, why had the Xie of old never been happy with her life?
Looking back, Xie admits that with her sensitive nature and wilful ways, she loved to be on the receiving end of sweet words and pleasantries; if her husband raised his voice by even the slightest bit, or if he nagged at her, she would ignore him for weeks. Frequently, she would even shed tears in secret over trifling matters. The “little bit more”of soft treatment and gentle words she craved was just like a dark cloud that obscured the rays of the sun and blinded her to the heavy commitments that he singlehandedly shouldered for the sake of the family.
Redefining Happiness from Ground Zero
The year 2010 brought disquieting news to her family. Xie’s son who was pursuing his studies in the UK, had returned for the holidays and thoughtfully arranged for his parents to undergo a health checkup. Then, the sudden discovery that Xie had breast cancer rendered her mind a total blank.
“Why me?”Though Xie found it inconceivable that she had contracted breast cancer, she could not deny the hard truth of the test results. Fortunately the cancer was detected early, and following the doctor’s recommendation, Xie underwent surgery to remove the active cancer cells and received a course of four chemotherapy treatments, 30 radiotherapy treatments and 17 antibody therapy treatments.
After a battle with cancer lasting more than 180 days, Xie was on her way to the path of recovery. She is not only immensely appreciative for the meticulous care shown by her family members, who took turns to look after her dietary needs during the course of her treatment, but also very grateful that she had had cancer. Because of the illness, her husband encouraged her to pursue whatever she wished to do. With his blessings, she was able to take part in Tzu Chi activities without any worries. While illness and suffering had caused her emotions to hit rock bottom, Xie no longer asks herself what else she lacks but asks instead, what she truly wants to do in life.
“Tzu Chi has allowed me to understand about Right Faith in Buddhism, and from there I began to understand the value and meaning to life. As she spoke about her joy in regaining a new lease on life, she asks with a smile if she should be grateful that she was once a cancer patient.
Xie Li Ping (fourth from left) now has a different perspective of happiness after recovering from her illness. (Provided by Xie Li Ping)
Xie’s husband (back row) and her son (left) gave her continued support and encouragement during the period when she was battling with cancer. (Provided by Xie Li Ping)
With Contentment Comes Gratitude
Before her illness, Xie had known about Tzu Chi and was very keen to take part in its activities. However, she was beset by endless worries; she would experience anxiety whenever she left the house, and when it was time to go home she would be concerned as to whether her husband would be upset if she returned late. She was also bothered by the thought that she would have less time with her family if she frequently went out. After recovering from her illness, she no longer upsets herself with these self-imposed constraints and her husband too, encourages her to widen her social circle and is supportive of her participation in Tzu Chi activities. Under her encouragement, he even attended the entrepreneurs’camp in Taiwan in 2012, and upon his return, has been busy participating in recycling activities and institutional care visits with his wife. Now, he would even introduce his friends to Tzu Chi!
Quoting from the lyrics in the “Dharma as Water” stage adaptation, she says “As the sun rises from the east to dispel the dark, so the prodigal son finds his way home.”She further likened herself to a drifting weed on the sea before she came to know of the Dharma teachings; clueless why she was born, and with no knowledge of her direction in life.
Xie confessed to having a penchant for consuming crabs before her illness, but during the course of her treatment when the spectre of death loomed large before her, she realized that just as the lyrics in the stage adaptation describes, all living creatures are similar to humans; in their desire to live, they are no different from us.
On a particular instance, Xie was beset with constipation and her health underwent a sudden deterioration. Teetering on the brink of life and death, she was seized with dread, fearing that she would leave this world with too many regrets. After having undergone the experience, during a “Dharma as Water” practice session, Xie deeply repented the negative karma that came about because of the desire to satisfy her palate. Today, Xie follows a vegetarian diet and has influenced others to adopt vegetarianism and protect life.
Every time Xie sings the “Sutra Opening Verse,”she is so touched that tears will well up in her eyes. She realizes that her life is truly blessed - born with a human body, she has the opportunity to learn the Dharma and benefit from the teachings together with so many other volunteers. Xie likens this good fortune as similar to being born in the age of the Buddha and having the opportunity to receive the Dharma from the Buddha himself.
The sum of one’s happiness is not simply a matter of adding up what we have. In subtracting away unrealistic desires, Xie feels grateful and contented with her lot in life.
“The lyrics and the sign language of the “Dharma as Water” stage adaptation have deepened my resolve to delve into the Dharma. I have found the right path, and I will persevere on!”Looking at the sentient beings still drifting along the vast sea of life, many of which are her own friends and relatives, Xie has come to the realization that if one loses oneself in desires, clinging on to the selfish, mundane sort of love, then the deeper one loves, the more one suffers.
To Xie, life is indeed like a play on stage. Musing how real life scenes are played out before our very eyes all the time, she hopes that she will continue to grow in wisdom and be able to lead more people onto the Bodhisattva path.
After her recovery, Xie (front) takes part enthusiastically in Tzu Chi’s recycling activities. She now feels that the value of one’s life is more important than how long one has to live, and cherishes the opportunities she has to do good. (Photo by Huang Yi Jie)
Ever since Xie’s husband Lin Gui Quan returned from the 2012 entrepreneurs camp, he has been actively engaging in recycling activities, care visits to institutions and trying his best to recruit more volunteers. (Photo by Li Ming Hui)
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